Stand to pee fun (or not)

I ordered a STP (stand to pee) packer (fake penis) as well as a harness. It fits well. It’s getting used to that’s the problem!

My first day I thought I had to squish it hard against my uhh .. cockpit. Nope. Made a mess. Changed pants often. It was also hard to start the stream. Anxiety. But it was cool to see the stream come out where it’s supposed to. 

I threw away my scrotal support thing that I bought to try, before throwing $30 on a proper harness. I had cut a separate hole for my fake balls. After accidents, I gave up until my harness came. Much easier. More practice. 

I learned to just let it sit comfortably in the harness and let it flow. No fancy hand tricks, just slow the stream. It worked. No more messes. It’s been a week and I’m peeing like a champ. Standing up. Practice makes perfect.

I see my counsellor on Tuesday. Yay! Closer to “T” (testosterone). She’s setting me up with a GP there, since my “new” one fired me for cancelling the meet and greet for having a fucking emergency. I gave them 24 hours notice.

I called, they bitched me out and told me to, basically, Fuck off. I’ve been there since 2012 and my GP moved. How goddamn nasty.

The bonus: it’s an LGBTQ friendly centre. My awesome counsellor called me after I got the news and said “well, no new patients but you’ve been here since 2013 and can access any care provider here. I’ll help you on Tuesday”. She rocks.


Facial hair and Photoshop

Well, as you know, I’m pre-everything. Hopefully not for too much longer.

But I like Photoshop. So here’s some pics I did up with me with facial hair.Click for full view, I’m pretty light-haired. Not the best PS job, it was 4am, and I was half asleep.


On a more serious note

I came out to my psychiatrist today. I’ve been seeing a gender therapist since early 2014. He was supportive, took it in stride, asked what my plans were, suggested a doctor for hormones. I was quite pleased.

For that that don’t know, I have SZA – Schizoaffective disorder. Take one part schizophrenia, one part bipolar disorder, add to mixer, shake vigorously, blammo, you’ve got what I’ve got.

My psychiatrist also says I’m in remission.

Wohoo! Good day, except for the bad crap, but not getting into that.

I was a bit worried about my psychiatrist. He’s not terribly old, maybe older 40’s, but he is a different culture, and, ahh fuckit. He’s always been supportive of me. I don’t know why I get so nervous.

He’s willing to write letters for hormones and whatnot.

7 days until I see my gender therapist.

I was pretty anxious telling my psychiatrist. He smiled, talked in his usual calming, kind, voice, and supported me. He says my idea of starting low dose “T” is a good one, and he supports me. He’s a great doc. He’s never once raised his voice to me, or been upset with me.

I wish all doctors were like him.